Break the wrist, walk away

I just want to express myself through the art of dance, Mike.

 

So in about 4 days, I will hit my first landmark on the missionary timeline - 6 months. I´ve already got the tie picked out to burn and everything. I cant believe it´s already here, and time is slipping through my hands faster than I can comprehend. I waited my entire life for these 2 years, and I´m already a quarter of the way done! It´s unreal. I´m glad I at least get 2 years, instead of a year and a half like the Seesters. This week was crazy. I seriously have never used my legs this much in my life. Between soccer, walking everywhere, and learning how to dance last night (rule book dont say nothing bout dancin!). Seriously, if we´re not playing soccer with an actual ball, it´s the rocks in the street, or a coconut that fell from a tree, or some kinda trash. The goal is to kick it through your comps legs when he takes a step. I think Miles played something similar, but I´m not sure. And then, the fact that we walk everywhere. This is one of the things that I love about Brasil. Even if people have a car, they´ll still walk. There´s hardly any fat people down here, because of this. So, our little city of Jacarezinho is full of hills. It´s seriously uphill both ways (back in my day..). So, by the time Í come home, I should have a nice little keester, and a nice pair of legs. In the next package I get I need someone to send a pedometer so I can see how many miles we walk a day. And, to top it all off, I learned how to dance Forro last night (pron Foho). The church asked Elder Lima to help teach because that type of dance was created in the section of the country he´s from. Turn´s out he´s actually really good, and he´s a good teacher too, so that helped. Since I cant touch girls, I had a guy partner - easy folks, it´s only gay if you make eye contact ;) - a 15 yr old kid named Gustava (we call him Gu-Gu). So yeah, by the time we were done, my calves were friggin burnin, and then we had to walk the 2 miles (uphill) back to the apartment. I was friggin wore out.

 

 

My mother gave it to me before she died. It was her lucky machete. You can have it.

 

That same day something happened that I´ll never forget. Earlier in the day, we stopped at a members house to get some water. We had been working in the area, and our apointment fell through. So after we got the water we were chillin for a few minutes in the front yard talking to the wife, because the entire family is a member except for her. So there we were, in the front yard, when the Rurais bus goes by and drops off the workers. Rurais is a company that makes sugar cane, and they´ve got alot of sugar cane fields where we are, and alot of the people that live in Jacarezinho work for Rurais. So it was nothin special when it went by, other than the fact that it kicked up alot of dust. Next thing I know this big black guy is coming up to us. He had obviously been drinking, and he was 4 sheets to the wind by the time he got to us. He comes right up to me, and starts talking. He talked real slow, so I was able to understand him. We talked for a few seconds, and then he moves onto Elder Lima. They talk for a few seconds, and then he turns back to me. He makes out like he´s going to leave, so I offer him my hand. He takes it, and just keeps holding on. Most people here in Brasil give you the dead fish, but this dude had a death grip on my hand, and he´s just staring at me. He´s still got his machete in his left hand, and I´m thinking about what I´m gunna do if he goes ape-snit and starts swinging. Now for the ladies, I´ll give you some background. There´s an unofficial amount of time that a hand shake is supposed to last between men. It´s usually around 2.67 seconds and then the shake is over. This is universal, or so I thought. So there we are, locked hands, and so I give him the "ok, handshake´s over pal" squeeze. He´s still hanging on. I´m lost at this point. Next thing I know, he drops the machete and cradles my arm that he´s holding like a teddy bear. He just breaks down at this point. He starts to weep, and pulls me in for a hug. I´m 6´1" and this dude´s gotta be 6´4", and when he wraps his arm around me, his armpit is right under my nose. Keep in mind this dude had been working in the sugar cane fields all day and smelt like a bar. I felt like Edward Norton in Fight Club when Meatloaf pulls him in for a hug, and he´s just smothered (it´s ok Cornelius, you can cry). We do this for what felt like an eternity, and then he releases me. He continues to stare at me, and then he says "when I look in your eyes, I see Jesus". My first thought was "Yeah, you´ve had way too much to drink". He then pulls me back in for a hug, a little shorter this time, and then he takes off. Elder Lima told me this is the life of a Missionary, and that kinda stuff happens all the time. Yay. Alcohol is bad folks, mmmkay?

 

This week was also a benchmark for another reason. I realized my nothingness. It was during a lesson, and Elder Lima was teaching. This dude´s a pro, he´s like a one-man army, like Charlton Heston in "Omega Man." You ever see it? Beauty...

 

Anyways, so the thought came to me "ya know, he would probably do better teaching without me." And I realized that Elder Lima didnt need me, like I needed him. And, then another thought came to me, God dosent really need me, like I need Him. But, He knows that this will help me more than anything I could ever do, so He´s giving me this chance. It´s just like all of the commandments and the laws that He´s given us. It´s not because God likes robots that cant have any fun, it´s because He knows what the consquences would be if we didnt follow them. Like it says in 2 Nefi 26:24 - He doeth not anything, save it be for the benefit of the world; for He loveth the world. People think that Latter day Saints cant have any fun because of all of the "restrictions" that we have. Are you serious? How backwards is this? You cant seem to have fun without drinking, drugs, and sex. Three things! You only have three things! I´ve got the rest of the world!

 

Anyways folks, I´m outtie for this week.

 

Eu amo ya´ll,

Elder Standard

 

You dont have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a Body.

C.S. Lewis

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My name is Elder Standard, and I approve this message

Whaddup folks! This is going out to everyone on the list, I want to see how everyone´s Mother´s day was. Elderes, Sisteres, Family, Friends, let me know!

 

It is friggin cold here (I can hear Miles laughing from here), and it´s hard for my hands to type these letters right now, but I´m sure I´ll manage. This week has been a roller coaster, ups and downs, and it was over before I knew it. It´s already Pday again, and I´m sitting here thinking about what I want to say to you. So, for starters - I love you, and I am grateful for everything that you´ve done for me. If you´re reading this it´s because you´ve changed my life in some way, and I wanted to continue talking to you. I am so grateful for the blessings that I´ve recieved in my family, my friends, my leaders, and my fellow missionaries. I dont know why I´ve been blessed so much, and the only thing I can come up with is because I´m supposed to help others, where much is given much is required and all that. I´ve been so blessed to be a member of the only true church on the face of the earth. To have this knowledge, that God has called another Prophet, just like He´s always done (amos 3:7), to lead and guide us. Because God is our Heavenly Father, and He loves us. He cares about us just as much as He cared about the people in ancient times. I cant understand why people would think that He would be any different now than He´s always been. They all know that He is the same today, yesterday, and forever. Yet they shake their heads when we tell them that He has once again reached out to His children, and restored the sacred ordinances of Baptism, recieving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and others. Because without these ordinances, we cannot return to live with Him (John 3:5). People even get mad at us, people throw stuff at us on the street, spit on us, because we teach the truth. But, I guess I´m in good company, because not only has every other Apostle, every other Prophet, felt what it´s like, but the Son Of God Himself was rejected also for teaching the truth. I dont understand it. In a talk I heard from Elder Holland in the MTC he said that I will ask myself why this has to be so hard. This is the truth, we have the truth, and you´d think people would be knocking our doors to hear about it. God has called another Prophet in our day! The saving ordinances of the Gospel have been restored! We can return home to live with our Heavenly Father! And that´s not all! He´s given us soooo many tools to help us. The Book Of Mormon, which works with the Bible to create one powerful testimony of Jesus Christ, has been brought to pass to help us understand more about God, and Jesus Christ. We even tell people "Hey, dont take our word for it, ask God if what we´re saying is true, and He will answer you." Ask yourself, right now, what kind of church will teach you about something, and then tell you to pray to God if it´s true. Who else does this? Why do we do it? Because we are the true Church of Jesus Christ.

 

And yet, people dont want it. I seriously dont get it. Eternal Joy, eternal progression, eternal families are what´s promised. People can be happier than they´ve ever been, and it´s free! You dont have to pay a single dollar. In fact, we´ll even come to you. Kids, who are just starting their lives, are giving it all up, to come and teach you. I gave up everything I loved, and if you knew me, you knew how hard it was for me to do that. I gave up everything to come to Brasil, and to teach as many people as I can. If you knew me, you knew I loved three things -

 

Girls (nuff said)

Guns (I slightly prefer guns to girls because they only make noise when you want them to, and you can buy silencers when they get too loud)

Music (Norma Jean, Tool, City and Colour, Deftones, Cat Power, and others)

 

And out here, I cant flirt with girls, I cant even touch guns, and I cant listen to music. I always had music, driving, chilling, working, whatever. I always had a gun on me to, and here, I cant even carry a knife. The girls here are GORGEOUS and I cant even talk to them. Why did I do this? I even paid money to do this. I gave it all up because I know it´s true. I came out on a mission later than most, I fought real hard to be here. Some of my leaders back home had given up on me, but I never lost sight. I knew what I needed to do, and it was going to take everything that I had to make it. And the battle isnt over, it´s still raging. But I know why I´m here. I know why I´m in Brasil. I´m here because my brothers and sisters, who, having never met them, I love. I love them with all of my heart, and I would do anything for them. I want them to have the same blessings that I enjoy, and more. I know that through the Atonement (sacrifice) of Jesus Christ we can be healed of anything that´s ever happened to us. I know, personally, that Christ is our Saviour, He is our Redeemer, and His sacrifice is real. His grace is sufficient for all weaknesses. This is my message to the world. It all comes back to Jesus Christ. Everything comes back to Christ. Everything comes back to His Gospel, His sacrifice. It´s not about Mormons VS. (insert apostasy church here). It´s about right and wrong. It´s about Good vs. Evil. All this help we´ve been given, prophets, families, scriptures, it´s all here to help us accept that Jesus Christ is our Saviour. The Prophets have authority to administer the ordinances of the Gospel which help us to not only return to our Heavenly Father, but the Atonement of Jesus Christ can heal everything. Families help teach the Gospel, through the scriptures we learn more about who He was, and what His purpose is. Luke 4:18 is probably my favorite scripture out of the entire new testament. Just some background, Jesus is reading from the book of Isaiah -

 

 18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.

 

This is Jesus Christ´ purpose. Why did He do this? Well here´s what Alma 7:11-13 says about it -

 

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

  12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

 

(emphasis mine)

 

He did this so that He can succor His people according to their infirmities. What does the word succor mean? To run to someone´s aid. Because He took upon Himself my sins, your sins, and everyone else´s sins that´s ever lived, will live, or is living, He knows how to help us. How to heal us. When someone hurts us, or when we hurt someone else, it dosent have to remain. It dosent have to be brought up again for the 1000th time, it can be washed away, and according to ezekiel 18:21-22 they wont even be mentioned! What a blessing! All of the stuff that I´m ashamed I did, that I wish I´d never done, wont even be mentioned if I repent, and turn to the Lord.

 

This is why I´m here in Brasil. This is why I gave up everything that I loved. To let others know of this knowledge. That we can be freed from our sins. They can be washed away. We dont have to hang onto them, we dont have to feel the shame and the guilt of a past mistake if we repent. It dosent matter what you´ve done, because He´s already suffered for it. in Only our Church can offer this, because only our Church has the proper Priesthood authority to administer the ordinances of the Gospel. This is why I wear a tie everyday, this is why I can deal with rocks being thrown at me, because I know it´s true. I promise you in the name of Jesus Christ that it´s true. And the only thing you have to do to know is to pray directly to God, your Heavenly Father, if these things are true. I know that He will answer you. Because He loves us, and He wants to us to follow the path back to Him. He will not lead you astray. The way is prepared, the help is there, it just depends on you if you accept it.

 

I testify that these things are true, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Elder Standard

 

 

 

 

 

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You had the noodle dream?!

So yeah, this entire week all of my dreams have been in portuguese. It´s trippy, but I can actually understand more in my dreams than I can when I´m awake. Most of them consist of me being home and talking to people in portuguese. I dont know where this comes from, but it´s cool none the less. Portuguese is slowly starting to take over. When I do speak in english its hard to not have a few portugese words in there unconciously. Now if I could just work on that accent. Holy cow, I have got to sound so strange to these people, because we´ll be walking down the street, and I´ll smile and wave at people and say something, and they just look and stare. This whole week has been like that, everybody just stares, all the time. I´ll smile and wave, and they just stare. Dude, I know I talk funny, but a smile and wave is universal, at least respond likewise. I seriously dont get it. It must go something like this -

 

...what is that? It looks like a person, but it´s...white?

Dude, João, check this out...it´s a person...but it´s...white

Hey Maria, get the kids, it´s a...white..person

 

*Everybody comes outside*

 

Hey look! It´s waving! How strange!

 

Honestly people, what gives? Take a picture, it´ll last longer... There will be a group of kids playing outside, and halfway down the street I can hear them talking about me. When I get closer all the talking stops and everybody just stares. As soon as I get my back to them, they start laughing. I seriously dont get it. Whatever, crack on.

 

This week has been slightly better than last. But, with the addition of stepping in something every single day. If it´s not dog crap, it´s gum, and if it´s not me, it´s Elder Lima. Everybody here owns a dog, and they run around everywhere, and crap whereever they want to. You constanly have to be on your guard. At night it´s horrible. If it´s not crap, there is always SOMETHING to trip on. The roads and side walks hear are horrible, and I am always tripping on something. It is usually in front of a pretty girl, a group of kids, or when a bus full of people is driving by.

 

Sorry folks, I lied, I was not called to the Brazil, Londrina Mission. I have been called to the "humble you quicker than being beat in a shooting match by a blind kid" mission. You cant have ANY pride on a mission. If you do, you wont for long. You´ve just got to grit your teeth, and push on. One of the hardest things for me to learn out here is humility. Dude it friggin hurts when you catch that humility bat in the teeth. When God wants you to learn something, He dosent care how bad it hurts your natural self, as long as you learn it. And it sucks for me, because I´ve got alot of pride. And I´m not saying that to be humble, it´s true, and it´s going to take alot of work to strip me of it. I know though, it will be for my good, and I will be a better person for it though. Hebrews 12:11 makes me laugh, because it´s so true.

 

So yeah, we´re steadily moving towards the baptismal dates for our families. It´s awesome because they are coming to church, and meeting the members, they have a bunch of questions afterwards, which means they´re thinking, which is always awesome. I love questions, I love to ask them and I love it when people have them. I like to get people to think. Why are you catholic/baptist/whatever, why do you believe this certain way, and so on. The majority of the time, they do something a certain way because that´s what their parents did, or that´s just what they´ve always done. We ran into some Jehovahs witness the other day. They stopped us, and after we passed around our little pamphlets I asked them why they believe the way they do. The replied with a couple of scriptures, one of which was isaiah 43:10-11. I had to wait until later that night to read what they were in english, and I couldnt believe it. They totally missed the point of verse 11. Yeah, I completely agree with you, besides Jesus Christ there is no saviour. I´d like to learn more about the j-dubs, because they dont seem any different from Jews at first glance.

 

Well, I´ve gotta go folks -

 

Oh, and real quick, out of like, 30 something people that I email every week, only 3 people responded as to what my strengths and weaknesses are. Dude, does nobody read my emails? ELDER STANDARD NEEDS HELP PEOPLE. I´m asking you because you most likely know me, and know a little about me. So, I´ll try this one more time -

 

PLEASE RESPOND AS TO WHAT MY STRENGTHS, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT MY WEAKNESSES ARE. I know I´m awesome, people. Help me figure out what my weaknessess are so I can work on them. Please. I dont know how to put it anymore plain. This isnt some bullcrap request. The more I can improve myself, the better I can help other people. I´m serious about this.

 

Thanks,

Elder Standard

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Pics from this week

8520 is of the Halloween 2 poster. Rob Zombie didnt know how right he was.

8521 is me and the Branch Pres here in Jacarezinho. He is awesome, I love this man.

8533 is of Elder Lima cooking me lunch.

 

 "Hey, Elder Lima, this is awesome, what is this?"

 "Figado"

 "What´s that?"

 "Liver"

 "Oh..."

 

8540 - So this little mini hurricane came out of nowhere when we were talking back to our apt. We were in the farthest part of our area, and it just starts pouring on us. So we ran to this little bus stop awning thing, and it was completely open on both sides, so it didnt help much. It was cold, we were wet, and it was awesome. I seriously think there is nothing better than sharing a crappy situation with someone you love.

 

8541- Ok, maybe I´m smiling a little too big. Actually it looks like I´m friggin crazy, but he caught me mid laughter, whatever. When the rain stopped we started walking back and in the middle of the park I stepped into a puddle up to my shin, so the entire time back to the apt my shoe was making a squishing noise.

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I can feel it in my nuggets

Whaddup people! Sorry for not writing last week, I´m a slacker, I know. There´s been alot happened these past couple of weeks, everything from being chased by gay hookers to being crapped on. We´ve been real busy, and we´ve got a few families that are preparing to be baptized. It´s so cool to watch people change their lives and turn unto the Lord. That´s the cool thing about missionary work, all we need is 10 minutes, and if you´ve got an open mind and heart, this message will change your life. I know this is the true gospel of Jesus Christ, restored again on the earth. I´m so glad I get to share this message with everyone that I can. A mission is such a blessing and a privilage. Thanks to all of you that have helped me get here. So, in order to improve myself, I need your help. I need everyone to reply back with what you think my strengths are, and what my weaknesses are. I need you to be brutally honest. I will not hold this against you. If I get mad it´s because I´ve got pride. But, I promise I wont get mad, unless it´s some kinda bullcrap that isnt true ;) I need to be the best I can be for these people here in Brasil, so I need as much feedback on this as possible. You´ve got a week to think of something and report back.

 

So, this week has also been really hard for me, Elder Lima is getting kinda trunky and it´s making me homesick. Plus, I used to ALWAYS have music playing, where ever I was, whatever I was doing, or...whatever. And now, being here out on a mish, I hardly ever hear any kind of music, unless the neighbors are blaring their music, or we go to church and I hear hymns (yay..).

Which reminds me, weeee siiiiinnggg soooooo sllloooowwww in church. What the F people? Now, this gets kinda funny, because most times I just kinda zone out and since I´m used to a quicker pace I´m always off time. And, since I dont pronounce everything like a native, It´s really noticable when I do it. So yeah, I´m always off, on..everything. It´s great. S.O.P. now is when someone starts talking crap, usually some punk kid, I just switch to english. Then everyone else is the one with the dumb look, even my comp. Just yesterday we stopped at a members work to drop off some Book Of Mormons for him. Well there were some customers in there and when they realized who we were they started to bible bash. Now, I still cant really understand folks, so I´m just hanging out, watching the second hand tick on the clock. Then one of the dudes comes up to me because Elder Lima wont talk to him, and starts trying to do it to me. I told him a few times that I cant understand him, and one of the times he says - "it´s ok, the Holy Spirit will translate for us". And persists and talking to me. I still have no clue what he´s saying, and his friend is trying to pull him away and tell him that I cant understand. I start talking in english to him, to prove a point that I cant understand him, but he persists. Eventually they left, after the Member turned on the radio super loud and nobody could hear each other. So yeah, I cant understand other people that well, but I´m starting to be able to kinda barely almost understand Elder Lima (I said KINDA, Higgins).

 

The families that we have are awesome That same member that I talked about above gave us a referral to another family. Well, they turned out to be a dud, but their neighbors didnt, so we´ve been coming back and teaching them. It´s sooo cool because they honestly want to know the truth. They have a ton of questions, which I personally love. Because when people have questions, or doubts, it´s because they´re thinking. When people dont have anything, it´s because they´re not thinking. I´d rather someone drop a bomb of a question on us that stumps us than have someone just be spoonfed. It´s kinda dissapointing to me when I go in, teach someone, ask them if they have any questions, they say no, and then that´s it. Are you kidding me? We just told you something that is so completely different than anything you´ve ever heard, and you´re cool with that? You dont have a single question? I know with me, if someone told me something about firearms that is completely different than the current mantra at the time, I would listen, ask a ton of questions, try it if it made sense, and see if it works. Whatever, I guess.

That´s the bad thing about Brazilians, getting in their house isnt the problem, it´s getting them to commit to anything, because they want to. They dont want to make you mad, they want to be your friend, so they just say yes to everything, and never do it. So it´s rare when you actually have someone like the families that we have that actually think about what we´re saying. You cant be blunt with them, otherwise they get their feelings hurt, and if you´re too nice then they dont understand how important it is that they listen. That´s the hard part about missionary work, you´ve got to find the middle ground on everything. That´s why having the Spirit is so important. If it was left to Elder Mate P. Standard nothin would get done.

 

 Anyways folks, I´m outtie for this week. Please reply back with what you think my strengths and weaknesses are so I can work on them, kapeesh?

 

Forty Six and Two,

The Church is True,

Elder Standard

 

(Ha, pretty clever isnt it, it rhymes and everything)

 

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Pictures

First one is of my little breakfast. The yogurt tastes like a friggin liquid fruit roll up.

 

Ok, here´s my little q-tips. Does anyone else think of that Lil Wayne song? I do, every morning when I get up.

 

This one is of our chapel. I love it. It´s fantastic.

 

This one is of district meeting.

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"The kid´s a square Benny! The kid´s a square!"

 

So, I´m going to print a retraction for last week´s email. Little did I know that when I typed out "Yeah, and I can already understand my companion" was I alerting headquarters that I was actually getting somewhere. I can picture Heaven like the CTU control room. God´s walking around with a bluetooth on His Ear, there´s angels in white robes sitting in front of computers with headsets on, there´s printers spitting out papers. Angels are running around with folders. I imagine last wednesday night went something like this -

 

Angel Higgins - Uh, oh, Sir!

God - Hey Isaiah, I liked that part about the fiery flying serpents, sssss, ouch! heh heh

Angel Higgins - Uh....Sir

God - Yes Higgins?

Angel Higgins - We´ve got a comfortable one.

God - Well you know what to do.

Angel Higgins - Yes Sir!

 

Angel Higgins places his finger on the "humble" key, which has been used so many times the key only says "hu  le". This is not to be confused with the "smite" key, which is right next to it, and has a drop of cheese from last night´s $0.99 nacho supreme from TacoFriend. I hope my investigators never ask me what I personally think Heaven is like, mainly because I dont know how to say "control panel" in portuguese, and because I dont want them to think the only thing that happens when you get to Heaven is you´re handed a goody bag with one free flying lesson, an eternal lifetime supply of ibuprofen and malox, and a "Managing Mortals for Dummies" guide book.

 

"Forever´s gunna start tonight, forever´s gunna start tonight"

 

Actually Bonnie, it started last thursday morning. I wake up, go about getting ready for the day, and I cant understand anything Elder Lima is saying. I catch little words here and there, just enough to know the gist of what he´s saying. I´m completely friggin lost. We go out, do contacts, and I have no clue what these people are saying. Apparentely they have no clue what I´m saying either, because I´ll say all of the right words, and they just stare at me. Then, Elder Lima (God bless him) says the exact same thing, and it clicks for them. "oh yeah, you can come over". Rock on. So I think my job here right now, is just to get peoples attention with my strange accent and looks. Little kids stare and point, old people just look and spit. It´s awesome. I love being in Brasil. There´s certainly no missing a 6´2 white guy walking next to a 5´9 brown guy, both of which are in white shirts and ties when everyone else is in shorts and flip flops. We go about teaching lessons, I stumble through my 0.036% of the lesson, Elder Lima picks up the rest. We´re a heck of a team. Sunday was fun, it was fast and testimony, thank goodness, so I´d be able to throw out a blanket of who I am, where I´m from, all that jazz w/o being asked 26 times those same questions. I lay it down, and we go to class. These people talk sooooo friggin fast. And I´m not even in São Paulo! The teachers ask me to read, so I read, (which I can read better than I speak, and I can speak better than I understand), and then ask me to comment. I say something that was so far off in left field everyone just nods and then they move on to the next person. For the record, these members are awesome. During testimony meeting everyone got up, and bore the most powerful testimonies. Its not hard to understand the Spirit. It´s a small branch, with about 26 active people. The members arent able to feed us alot here, so we´re left to fend for ourselves most of the time. I´ve gotten really good at making bacon and eggs. The bacon here is a little different from the states. Here, it´s just a block of bacon, and you cut off what you want. I´m a thick-cut kinda guy, so I go through the bacon pretty quick. Everything´s cool though, and we always have enough to eat (that´s for you Mom).

 

When we teach lessons, I can just say enough to get through my shpeel, and then I´m outtie for the rest of the lesson. I might was well be part of the couch. When people ask me questions, I just pull a dumb grin, go "mhm..." and turn to my comp, hoping he heard what they asked. This, more often than not, brings this fun little question - "Ele não entende?" No, I cant understand, yet. But, most people here are cool with it. They just smile, kinda chuckle, say something to you again just to extract that dumb little grin, and then move on to what they were asking. Last Friday, we went to members house for some water because we were tracting in the area. They had a few kids, with the oldest being around 13ish. We were all playing around, talking smack, and after he said something that I didnt understand, he asked that same question - "ele não entende?" So Elder Lima explained that I was still learning. This gives the kid free reign, so the thinks. He just goes off, calling me every name in the book. I can understand what´s going on, and bust out in english.

 

1. It feels really good to speak english once in a while

2. It´s incredibly weird when you speak english and nobody understands.

 

With the tables now thoroughly turned, I start going off on the kid, and he´s now the one with the dumb look on his face. Just to rub salt in the wound, I ask him "Voce não entende?"

 

Oh, sweet justice.

 

So yeah, that´s been my week so far. Everything is going good. I´m sick again, with something, I have no clue. I hear gunfire 2-3 times a day. And by gunfire, I mean automatic weapons. I can tell there´s m16´s because of the three-round burst. This is a town of 36,000 people. I didnt hear this much gunfire in Houston. So yeah, gun control works great down here ;p

 

For the record, the next person that says Americans are arrogant is getting judo-chopped in the throat.....  And that´s all I´ve got to say about that.

 

We had district meeting this week. It was awesome, the parts that I understood. I´m so blessed to be working with awesome people down here. Everyday I can teach a little more, say a little more, understand a little more. The Lord is with me, and He´s guiding me through this process. I know that He lives, that He is our Savior. I know that he is very much interested in everyone´s lives. He loves us, and is doing everything possible to help us return to Heavenly Father. The more I learn about this Gospel, and about this whole plan, I realize just how perfect it is. There´s not a chink or a glitch anywhere. I defy anyone to find one. This is the true Church of Jesus Christ, restored again on the earth because God loves us. It was restored through Joseph Smith, who was called of God to bring to pass this last dispensation. I know these things to be true by the power of the Holy Ghost. Nothing can take this testmony away from me, and I will speak it to the entire world if I could. God Lives, Jesus Christ lives. And they will carry us through if we allow them. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I´ve been given, and I want to share it with everyone. I love all of you, and pray that all of you can have the same joy that I have. Please stay strong, pray for strength to withstand satan and the world, and you will make it.

 

Elder Mate Standard

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